


Of You

by CuddlyToy213



Category: The Monkees, The Monkees (TV)
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Denial of Feelings, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Spin the Bottle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-05 17:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16371833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuddlyToy213/pseuds/CuddlyToy213
Summary: Takes place in the Monkees TV show universe.The four guys play spin the bottle with two female friends. One of the girls adds a stipulation that they all have to kiss whomever the bottle lands on regardless of who it is. Awkwardness ensues. Followed by sweet Dolenzmith.





	1. Spin the Bottle

It's a crisp Thursday night at the Monkees' beach pad. Micky, Davy, Peter, and Mike are sitting on the floor with two girls, one a blonde and the other a brunette. The girls were two friends who Davy met out on the beach last week. The six of them are in a circle with an empty Coca-Cola bottle in the middle of the circle. The circle was organized as the following (just so y'all can visualize this as I do): Peter, Mike, Micky, Davy, Melissa, Stacey. The blonde girl, Melissa, spins the bottle, and it stops pointing at Davy. She leans over and they kiss briefly. Davy spins the bottle and it lands more than halfway between Peter and the brunette girl, Stacey, and Davy leans over and kisses Stacey. 

Melissa giggles, and matter-of-factly points out that the bottle was closer to Peter than Stacey, to which Davy replies “You must be joking! E's a bloke. There's only two girls. This game is so we can kiss you girls isn't it?”  
Melissa replies, “Well, maybe you should have invited more girls. I think it might be more fun if we all have to kiss whomever the bottle lands on. EVEN if you guys land on one another.”  
“So David would have had to kiss me on that spin then?” asked Peter.  
“Exactly. And if I land on Stacey, I'd have to kiss her,” said Melissa.  
“I can dig that,” replied Peter.  
“Hey now guys, I don't know about this,” interjected Mike, “Melissa, we are NOT the kind of guys that go around kissing other guys.”  
Trying to reassure Mike, Davy says, “Mike, we still have a chance to kiss these lovely birds. It's not like we're doing it because we want to. It's just a game,”  
Davy was still liking his odds of kissing the girls if he spun the bottle just the right way.  
“Yeah, man. It's no big deal anyway. We're all friends here,” said Peter.  
Micky, who had been quiet up until that statement, hesitantly said, “Yeah, exactly. We're all friends. It's no big deal.”

Micky had been thinking it over in his mind about whether he really was okay with this idea. They were all friends. It wasn't uncommon for any of them to be just casually having their arm around one of the others, or sharing a blanket on the couch on a cool night while watching TV. He couldn't help but feel it would be a little awkward to be kissing his friends.

Stacey grabs the bottle from the middle of the circle, as it's her turn to spin, and says, “So it's settled, lets get back to playing.”  
Mike interjects yet again, “Hey, wait a minute!” and is interrupted by Davy and Peter, “Hey Mike, chill out, it's not really that big a deal. You still have the chance to kiss the girls if you spin it right.” “Yeah, Michael. It's all groovy, man.”  
Mike sighs and dejectedly replies, “Okay, okay, fine. I'll play your way.”

Stacey spins the bottle, which lands on Peter.  
Peter spins the bottle, which lands on Melissa.  
Melissa spins, getting Micky.  
Micky spins, getting Stacey.

The guys all think to themselves, 'This isn't bad so far'.

Stacey spins, and gets Melissa.  
Davy makes his silly “Oh” sound as the two girls innocently kiss.  
Stacey says, “See guys, it's no big deal.”

She spins and gets Mike.  
Mike, gets Stacey.  
Stacey, Davy.

Davy spins, and the bottle again lands more than halfway between Stacey and Peter, just like before. Davy looks from Peter to Stacey, and Stacey smiles and points to Peter. Davy gives him a sheepish smile and hesitantly leans across the circle and for a split second his lips graze Peter's.  
Peter spins and the bottle lands on a nervous looking Micky, and they share a brief kiss.  
Micky spins and gets Davy. They innocently almost miss their kiss as Micky bonks his nose against Davy's.  
Davy spins and gets Mike. Davy come across the circle and presses his lips to a non-moving Mike, who looks relieved when Davy settles back down in his spot.  
Mike spins, and gets Peter. Mike sits still for what feels like forever before Peter says, “I promise I won't bite,” which is barely enough tension relief that Mike quickly kisses him. 

The two girls in the circle giggle and fake yawn, as they somehow are being left out of this game now, but this is what they agreed to.

Peter spins and gets Micky again. Their second kiss didn't feel as awkward.  
Micky was feeling more confident about this game now.  
He spins the bottle with a little excess force and it spins and spins, until it comes to a stop at Mike. Micky leans over but is met with Mike quickly getting up and saying almost too loudly “Okay this is enough! I've had enough of this game. I'm not kissing you guys!” and he storms out the front door of the pad.  
Everyone is a little shook by the display that Mike made. Micky gets up slowly and announces, with a hint of awkwardness, “Yeah, I'm done too,” and he walks speedily across the room to his and Peter's bedroom.  
The four remaining players share confused looks. Melissa says, “We should get going, its getting late.” She and Stacey stand up and Davy follows. He walks them out the door, and returns a few moments later to find Peter up and washing some dishes in the kitchen.  
“That was odd, wasn't it?” Davy asks Peter.  
“I thought it went alright.” Replied Peter.  
“No, no, I mean Mike storming out.”  
“Oh yeah, well he gets worked up easily, you know.”  
“He better come back before too late. We have to practice tomorrow if we ever wanna get a gig.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Some game. Goodnight.”  
“Night, man.”  
And with that, Davy went up the spiral stairs to his and Mike's bedroom. Peter finished cleaning up and went to his and Micky's room. Micky was seemingly asleep in his bed, completely covered in his blankets and curled up. Peter fell asleep fast.

Little did Peter know, Micky didn't fall asleep until much later, with silent tears staining his pillow.


	2. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, in the point of view (POV) of Davy & Peter, Micky, and Mike. Micky confides in Peter. Mike gets mad at Davy. And Davy and Peter decide to go to the beach.

Davy's and Peter's POV

Davy and Peter had breakfast the next day, alone. Neither Mike nor Micky joined them in the kitchen. After stacking their plates in the sink, Peter walked over to the bandstand and picked up his bass and began to warm up. Davy said, “Hey man, what's the point? Mike is gone again and Micky won't get out of bed.”  
“Mike's gone again?,” asked Peter with his face scrunched in a quizzical look.  
“Yeah, he came back last night after we all went to bed, but he got up and left before I could even offer him coffee.”  
“But Mike loves his coffee!”  
“I know Peter, I know.”  
The two of them were silent for a moment before Peter said with a concerned look on his face, “I think Micky has mono.”  
“What? Mono? The kissing disease?”  
“Yeah. He won't get out of bed after playing spin the bottle last night.”  
Davy shook his head. “Peter, that's ridiculous. And if Mike isn't here and Micky won't come play with us, then we might as well go down to the beach. Maracas, tambourine, and a bass guitar does not make a band.”

They head to their separate bedrooms to get changed to go down to the beach.

Micky's POV

Micky was curled up in his bed, blankets over his head. He had spent a good few hours last night with tears rolling down his face, but didn't really understand why. When he finally did fall asleep, he slept soundly. The only time he woke up was when Peter poked and prodded at him to tell him breakfast was ready. Micky didn't feel like eating. He had the feeling of a pit in his stomach. A feeling he usually only felt when a girl broke up with him, but that hadn't been the case recently. Being unable to fall back asleep after Peter repeatedly poked at his side, neck, and to his immense discomfort, his eye, Micky decided to sit up in bed and try to read one of his many science fiction books. 

Unfortunately, the book he chose was not holding his attention and he found himself just staring blankly at the page. He was snapped back into reality when Peter rushed into the room.  
“Micky! How are you feeling? You look awful. Do you want me to get you some soup? Soup always makes me feel better when I'm sick.” Peter walked over and sat down on Micky's bed and put the back of his hand to Micky's forehead to see if he was running a fever.  
Micky was dumbstruck by the excited cadence of Peter's words, and even more confused about his questions and actions.  
“Peter, I'm not sick. I'm just not feeling like myself today.”  
“Oh thank goodness you're not sick. If you were sick, I'd get sick, and then we'd all get sick, and then we would get so behind on practicing, we'd never get a gig...”  
“Earth to Peter!” said Micky, trying to snap Peter out of his train of thought.  
“Oh, sorry.” Peter looked at Micky, noticing his swollen eyes. “What's wrong Micky? You look like you've been crying.”  
“It's nothing. I'm fine,” Micky said, trying to really seem fine.  
“Okay,” said Peter, springing up off the bed and over to his chest of drawers to get his swim trunks.

Micky sighed and slumped back down into bed. Melodramatically, he thew his arms over his head, scrunched up his curly hair, and kicked his legs around a bit.  
“Peeeterrr, I'm not fine. I just don't know what's wrong with me,” Micky whined.  
Peter paused, and set his swim trunks on his bed, staring attentively at the display Micky was making. He went and sat back down with Micky. He knew when Micky started acting this way that something was wrong and he was not going to let Micky suffer in his own mind over this, whatever it was.  
“Micky, you know you can talk to me about anything. You're my best friend.”  
Micky sighed again. He didn't know how to form into words the thoughts and feelings he had running through his head.  
When Micky didn't speak, Peter continued, “I know it's got to do with the spin the bottle game last night. You got weird after Mike stormed out.”  
Something clicked in Micky's head when Peter reminded him of this fact. He released his curls from his hands and began pulling the covers up to his face again. “Stupid Mike and his stupid hmrmmhrmr”  
“Sorry Micky? Didn't catch that last part,” Peter said, very confused.  
Micky uncovered his face, and Peter noticed that Micky looked as though he might cry again. Peter was ever so confused.  
“Stupid Mike and his stupid face, his kissing everyone else but me. Why didn't he want to kiss me, Peter? He kissed you. He kissed Davy. He kissed those girls. It was just a game but he wouldn't kiss me!” Micky was getting more and more distraught as his thought process flowed from his mouth.  
“It was just a game, Mick. You know how Mike gets sometimes. He didn't even want to play when Melissa suggested the new rule.”  
Micky's eyes filled with tears. “But, but he...he...”  
Peter pulled Micky into a hug, “I know, man. It's okay.”  
Micky felt so confused. Why was he upset that Mike wouldn't kiss him? That was an odd thing for him to be upset about. Wasn't it?  
Peter pulled away and looked at Micky. He studied the confused look on his friend's face. “Look, man. I don't know why Mike wouldn't kiss you. I know it bothers you. I think you need to figure out why it bothers you. You can talk to me about it when you figure it out.”  
Micky was silent for a moment and Peter got up to gather his swim trunks, knowing that Davy was probably waiting on him now.   
Peter started for the door when Micky spoke again, “Thanks Pete. And please don't tell anyone about this. Especially not Mike.”  
“I promise I won't tell anyone,” said Peter, giving a genuine smile.  
Micky gave a small smile, “Thanks. And have fun at the beach for me.”  
“I'll build an extra big sandcastle for you.”  
“Thanks.”

Peter walked out to get ready for the beach.   
Micky suddenly felt exhausted, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. He was at least relieved that he knew why he was upset. He quickly fell asleep.

Mike's POV

Mike hadn't gotten back home after storming out until shortly after midnight. He had been walking around the neighborhood for what felt like hours. He was royally pissed off at how the night unfolded. The nerve of some girl he had only met that day to suggest they all play spin the bottle, and then stipulate that he had to kiss his friends. How absurd! Mike fell asleep fast, as he was tired from walking around.

The next morning, he was still in a bad mood. He dressed and hurried out the door as Davy was making breakfast. He wished he had gotten his morning coffee, but he didn't want to socialize. Even worse, he was in no mood to practice music, and that said something since music was his go-to when he was down. He found himself walking down the same streets as he had the previous night. He found an open diner and had some breakfast, since he rushed out of the pad before eating. He couldn't wrap his head around the ridiculousness of the events of the previous night.

After having eaten and had coffee, he was feeling a bit better and decided to wander on home. As he walked through the door he saw Davy run up the stairs, so he decided to follow and suggest they practice. He walked through the door of their bedroom and asked, “Hey Davy, do you wanna practice?”  
Davy was surprised to see Mike back already, and actually a little annoyed that he suggest they practice since Mike had blown them off earlier. Davy said, “No way, mate, me and Peter are going down to the beach.”  
Confused by this, Mike questioned, “Why? We need to practice.”  
Davy retorted, “Peter and I were ready to practice, but you had run out, and Micky won't get out of his bed. And what was up with you running out this morning? AND last night for that matter!”  
“Hey man! Don't get all worked up at me now. It was your little girlfriend that suggested we play that game! I made it clear that I didn't want to play that way.”  
“Well jeez, Mike, it's not like we all thought the rules were groovy. It was just a game!”  
“Well I didn't think it was fun. I'm not too fond of that girl, Melissa was it? In fact, I don't think I want either of them in this house ever again!”  
Taken aback by Mike's reaction, Davy replied, “Christ, Mike! You're out of your gourd.”

Mike scoffed, and pulled at his hair. Clearly Davy didn't understand the gravity of the situation the previous night. Then again, Mike didn't really understand his harsh reaction to it either.  
Davy walked out of the room with his swim trunks, knowing Peter was probably waiting for him to go down to the beach.  
Mike was left alone in the bedroom. Furious, and confused. Many things were running through his mind. Kissing girls was one thing. Kissing his friends was another. Kissing Micky... that was another thing still. And Micky wouldn't get out of bed today? He sighed and walked out of his room, down the stairs, and out the front door again. He was going to walk, because he didn't know what else to do. He was going to walk until he wasn't mad anymore. He knew he would need to think clearly to figure out what was really bothering him. He knew one thing at this point: that what bothered him had to do with Micky.


	3. Long and Involved Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike has a "long and involved conversation" with himself in a secluded area of the beach.  
> Peter and Micky do yoga, and they discuss Micky's feelings about the past few days.

Mike had spent the past few days thinking long and hard about his predicament. However, he was not neglecting the band. He made sure they all practiced every day. They didn't have a choice if they wanted to get another gig any time soon. Micky had required some coaxing by Peter and Davy to get out of bed and behind his drum set, but he started to feel a little back to normal when he started playing again.

After practicing on Monday, Micky disappeared back to his bedroom, Peter and Davy went into town in hopes of finding a venue that needed a band, and Mike went down to the beach. On one of his walks on Sunday, Mike had found a rocky area on the beach that was secluded and was perfect for him to be with himself and his thoughts. Today, Mike found that same rocky place and settled down on one particular rock that faced the ocean, yet was surrounded by other larger rocks to provide privacy.  
(Micky...) he thought. (You're my friend, my band-mate, why do I feel this way?)  
“I shouldn't,” he spoke aloud. He sighed.  
(But I do... I have... feelings... toward you that don't coincide with our current dynamic. I can't stop thinking about you. That hurt look on your face when I stood up and walked out.)  
He shook his head. He'd been doing that a lot. Trying to shake loose any sort of sense he had left in his mind. He stared out at the vast expanse of water in front of him. His mind started to wander. He looked over at a large rock that was near the water.  
(If Mick was here, he'd be jumping off that rock into the water, and I'd have to remind him that the water isn't that deep right there.)  
Mike pictured Micky standing on the rock he was looking at. He wished Micky was here.  
(I miss him.) This thought came to him as a surprise.  
(I miss him? I shouldn't. I see him every day.)  
(Yeah, but it's not his presence that I miss. I miss his smile. I miss him cracking jokes. I miss his laugh. He hasn't been laughing a lot lately.)  
“Because of me. I hurt his feelings when I ran out.”  
(But I didn't want to kiss him... not like that.)  
“I want it to be more special than that...”  
(and I need it to be on my terms, in my time.)  
“So, what do I do?”  
(I gotta tell him how I feel. But how do I really feel? Davy and Peter are my friends too, but with Micky it's different. I mean, he's not a chick, but he's...)  
Frustrated at the thought he almost let himself think, he brushed his hands through his hair. Again, he looked out at the ocean.  
He shouted at the waves, “He's Micky! He's tall and skinny and his skin gets bronzed in the sunlight. If it's a crime to see that as attractive, then lock me up!” and he thrust his hands out in front of himself, mimicking handcuffs being on his wrists.  
(He's beautiful...) He buried his face in his hands.  
“Man, I must be crazy,” He rubbed his eyes, “But I can't fight this anymore.”  
He stood from the rock he was perched on, and began yet another walk down the beach. 

 

Meanwhile, Davy and Peter made their way back to the pad. No luck finding a gig. Davy was getting read for a date, so Peter went to check on Micky. Peter found Micky sitting in his bed, reading the same book he'd been trying to read for four days. It didn't seem like much progress had been made. Peter sat down with Micky and snatched the book from his friend's hands.  
“Hey! I was reading that,” exclaimed Micky.  
“Oh really? Pray tell, how you are on page 104, when yesterday you were on page 112?”  
“Uhhh... different book?” Micky gave an unconvincing shrug and smile.  
“Man, you are all out of sorts. Come on, get up.” Peter stood and pulled Micky up out of bed.  
“Hey!”  
“No. No excuses. You have moped for too long. You're not even acting like yourself. I refuse to see my friend like this.” He crossed the room to his chest of drawers, lit a few of his favorite incense and set them in the holders. He moved back over to where Micky stood with a confused look on his face. Peter sat cross-legged on the floor, and motioned to Micky to sit with him.  
Peter explained, “You're gonna do yoga with me. Align you body and sort out your mind. Now sit, back straight, shoulders back, relax your arms, and take slow deep breaths.”  
Peter sat and did as he had instructed to Micky. Micky, however, sat cross-legged, but wiggled around. After a moment, he remembered to straighten his back, but neglected to bring his shoulders back. He tried to focus, but began poking at Peter's leg. Peter opened his eyes. He peered out of the corner of his eye at Micky and said, “Don't do that. You gotta take this serious, man. I'm trying to help you.”  
“I always feel so weird trying to do yoga with you.”  
“Just relax. Do what I do. I promise, it'll help clear your mind.”  
Micky sighed, “Okay.” He sat as previously instructed and began taking slow deep breaths in time with Peter's. Micky really wanted to feel like himself again, and if doing this would get him there, he'd give it a try. After doing some deep breathing, Peter raised his arms up over his head, and leaned slowly side to side to stretch out his sides and decompress his back. Micky followed suit, but his back crackled and popped as he stretched. For the next 40 minutes, both guys sat in their room, the only sounds were their synchronized breathing and the occasional giggle from Micky when they moved to a different pose that he found silly. Peter would give him a stern, yet serene, look and Micky would settle down again.  
It took Micky a while, but he found his mind to be blank and not wandering to irrational things he had been worrying about. The past few days, Micky had been thinking that Mike hated him. That somehow, Mike not kissing him meant that Mike didn't like him at all. He also had been feeling insecure about himself. He usually felt sure of how he fit in with people, but he was having trouble feeling a part of the band since he kept mentally checking out. He didn't feel like going out, even though he was normally a social butterfly.  
But right now, his mind was blank. He felt peaceful. He felt relaxed, and to his relief, his back was not hurting as much as it had been from laying in bed all weekend.

They settled back down into a cross-legged sitting position. Peter sat facing Micky, knee to knee, and motioned for Micky to place his hands in Peter's. It was just something the did after yoga-ing together. It made them feel connected and it was when they shared their most important conversations.

Peter had a serene look on his face, as he did whenever he was this relaxed. He looked into Micky's eyes and asked, “Have you figured out why Mike not kissing you has bothered you so much?” This question brought Micky back down into reality. Part of why they always had important conversations after doing yoga was that Peter was very direct in his questions when his mind was peaceful.  
Micky sighed and looked down. “I've been thinking about that... I think I know...”  
Peter waited for Micky to continue. Micky looked back up into Peter's eyes. Peter noticed a clarity in Micky's eyes that hadn't been there since everything started.  
Micky began again, “Mike not kissing me during that game bothered me. It bothered me because... I was, I don't know, looking forward to it when Melissa said we'd all have to kiss whoever the bottle landed on.”  
“You were looking forward to it?” Peter calmly questioned.  
Micky nodded, “I guess... yeah... I wanted to kiss Mike, or I wanted him to kiss me. He kissed everyone else, literally. He got upset and stormed out at the thought of having to kiss me.”  
“Do you have feelings for Mike?” asked Peter.  
“Feelings?” Micky pondered to himself more so than asking to Peter. “Mike is a groovy guy, ya know, a great guitar player and singer, a good friend, but, I don't know, he's not like you or Davy. He is different, makes me feel different than you do, if that makes sense.”  
Peter nodded.  
“He's not a chick, and I'm not gay,” said Micky with a confused look on his face and he pulled his hands away from Peter's to rub his eyes. “But I want to kiss him?”  
Peter smiled, “It's best not to put labels on things, as labels confuse our minds because of what society says those labels should mean. Gay? Straight? Love is love, man.”


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike asks Micky to help him with a new song. Mike asks Micky why he's been avoiding everyone.

Wednesday was their big practice day. They'd been at it for a few hours. They'd nailed down their current set list. They were ready for whenever they got a gig. Mike had gotten them to work on one last song before they finished up.   
“Okay guys, one last time. One, two. One, two, three.”  
They began to play the intro to “Door into Summer”. They played their instruments well, considering this was a new song, and Mike's and Micky's vocals harmonized well.

The song ended and Peter and Davy set their instruments down. Like every Wednesday after practice, they were going to go down to the beach. Micky usually went with them, but he walked back to his room still not in the right head space to be social. Mike sat on the couch with his guitar, strumming chords. He had a new song in mind that he wanted to work out. After playing around with chords for fifteen minutes, he heard a door open and Micky came out of his bedroom. Micky had strolled over to the cupboard for a glass to get water from the tap.  
“Hey Mick, could you come over here. I'm working on a new song and I think I could use some help... if you would.”  
Micky was surprised. Mike hadn't really been talking to him much lately.  
Hesitantly, Micky replied, “Yeah, man. What do you need me to do?” and he walked over to the couch.  
“Well, uhh... I guess, if you could keep a beat going for me on the bass drum and just do some basics on the snare and high-hat.”  
Micky sat at his kit and got a beat going, “Like this?”  
“Speed up the tempo a hair,” Micky sped up a bit, “Yeah, keep that up.”  
Mike strummed the chords he had been messing with, and played around with an idea for a solo.  
After playing for fifteen minutes, Mike stopped, which prompted Micky to stop playing. Mike contemplated for a moment, and then looked at Micky and asked, “So, uh, why have you been hiding out in your room so much? It's not like you.”  
Micky was taken aback by this question. He thought it was obvious why he was “hiding.” Micky looked at Mike. He didn't want to admit why, and was a little annoyed, so he shot back, “I would have thought it to be obvious.”  
Surprised by Micky's snarky reply, but not wanting to argue, he softly replied, “If it was obvious, I wouldn't have asked. Mick, what's up?”  
This got Micky fired up, “What's up?! You want to know what's up? You kissed everyone else, but you wouldn't kiss me. You got all offended when it came to kissing me!”  
Micky was angry, but also looked as though he was going to cry.  
Mike noticed the distress Micky appeared to be feeling. He knew that feeling was his fault. He looked down, “Micky, it's not that simple...”  
“Not that simple?! I thought we were friends. Clearly, kissing your friends was no big deal.”  
Mike looked back up at Micky, “I didn't want to kiss Peter or Davy.”  
“But you did!” Micky got up, knocking over the snare and high-hat cymbal, and stormed out the back door toward the beach.  
Mike was shocked at the violent outburst that Micky made.   
He said to himself, “I didn't WANT to kiss THEM.” He sighed and got up. He reset the drum set.

Mike stood for a moment looking out the window to see where Micky ran off to.  
(I've only made this worse. I've got to tell him now or he'll hate me forever).  
He opened the door and strolled out toward the beach. He knew he'd find Micky. He had to. He didn't walk too far before he saw Micky sitting against a rock, knees up to his chest and his head down. Mike's heart broke at the sight of Micky so hurt. He quietly walked over toward Micky, but Micky looked up and saw Mike coming. Micky stood up and began walking away.  
“Micky, please don't walk away, I need to talk to you,” Mike pleaded.  
Without turning to face Mike, Micky said, “I don't want to talk to you.”  
A little hurt, Mike replied, “Then don't talk, just listen.”   
Mike stopped short of reaching Micky. He could have reached out and touched him, but didn't want to startle him.  
Mike spoke softly, “Micky, I didn't WANT to kiss the other guys,” he paused, trying to think of how to say what he needed to.  
“Micky, could you please turn around.”  
Micky sighed and slowly turned to face the dark haired man. He was surprised to see the look on Mike's face was sorrowful. Mike looked into Micky's eyes, where such a forlorn look currently resided.   
“Micky...I didn't want to kiss the other guys. I just, couldn't kiss you... like that,” Mike said, trying to explain his reasons.  
“You see, Mick, I didn't want to kiss you because of some game.”  
A confused look crossed Micky's face.  
“Micky...” Mike reached out with both arms and placed his hands on Micky's shoulders, “You mean too much to me for me to kiss you just because of some game.”  
Micky stood there with his arms dangling awkwardly at his sides. He took in the words that Mike had said. He was scared that he was misinterpreting them. He could feel that Mike was putting himself out there, or Mike wouldn't be holding his arms like this.  
“Mike... I... I was upset that you didn't kiss me...”  
“I know, Mick.”  
“I was upset because I... wanted... you to kiss me...” Micky looked away, tried to turn away, but Mike held him in place.  
Mike was surprised and a little relieved at Micky's words. He went against all he knew to be acceptable, and pulled Micky into an embrace. Wrapped his arms around Micky's shoulders and buried his face in Micky's curly hair. Micky was surprised at the display of affection from Mike, as Mike tended to shy away from hugging. Micky wrapped his arms around Mike's slender waist, and allowed himself to feel surrounded by Mike.


	5. Love is Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike takes Micky with him to his rocky thinking place to have a conversation.

Mike and Micky held each other in an embrace that felt so right. They held on as minutes passed, breathing in each other, taking in the feel of each other's bodies pressed against one another. It was as if time stood still for them.

Then Micky broke the embrace, but still holding onto Mike's waist. Micky looked into the slightly taller man's eyes and whispered, “Mike, I have feelings for you. I have for a while.”  
Mike whispered back, “I feel it too. I just don't understand it,” he looked around, suddenly aware of how he and Micky may look to bystanders, “I think we should talk about this somewhere else. Walk with me?”  
Micky followed Mike down the beach. They did not speak. After a short walk, they came to the rocky area where Mike had been doing most of his thinking. Mike sat on the rock that faced the ocean and motioned for Micky to sit with him. Micky looked around, “I've never been on these rocks before.”  
“I hadn't either until recently. I've come here quite a few times this past week to think.”  
They both stared out at the ocean for a few moments. Mike was unsure what to say now that they were alone. Micky was playing back in his mind the conversation he had had with Peter about how he felt for Mike.

“I'm not gay,” they both said at the same time. Micky laughed, for the first time in a week. Mike smiled, enjoying Micky's laughter.

Mike's face slowly changed from a smile to a more serious look and he spoke again, “I'm not...ya know, but I have these feelings for you, Micky. I enjoy being with you. I enjoy being close to you. Seeing you happy brings me the most joy.” Mike hesitantly placed his hand on Micky's knee. Micky had never heard Mike speak in this way. Mike wasn't prone to being outwardly sweet or sentimental.  
Micky looked out at the ocean, still smiling, “This past week was horrible with us not talking.”  
“Yeah, man, I know. I just didn't know what to say.”  
“I was embarrassed. I didn't know what I was feeling, but you running out after seeming offended at the thought of kissing me just really hurt me and I thought everyone saw that.”  
Mike looked at Micky, “I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you.” He took his hand from Micky's knee and reached up to Micky's face and ran the back of his fingers along Micky's jawline, pausing briefly at his chin. Mike felt self-conscious of this action. He was slightly reassured by Micky's acceptance of the gesture.  
They sat quietly for another few moments, looking out at the water. Micky had taken to sitting cross-legged, angled toward Mike. He pulled at a frayed string on his pant-leg.  
“So,” Micky began, “these feelings we have for each other, um, what do we do? Like, I know we can't go strolling down the street hand in hand.”  
“No, absolutely not,” stressed Mike, “We can't do that. We can't let people see us like that. We have a hard enough time getting a gig without people thinking members of The Monkees are, ya know, gay or whatever.”  
“We aren't gay,” said Micky, looking up at Mike.  
“No, we aren't, we are just two guys who like each other, Mick, and people don't differentiate.” Mike was getting frustrated, not with Micky, but with the whole situation.  
Micky giggled, “Sneaking around could be fun too.”  
Mike shook his head, “Micky... how is this not freaking you out?”  
Micky looked back down and started pulling at the fray in his pants again, “I don't know. I guess now that I know what I'm feeling, and that you feel it too, I thought everything made a little more sense. Plus, I talked it through with Peter and he said something that made me feel better about this.”  
Mike was concerned bordering on horrified, “You talked to Peter about this?!”  
“Yeah, man, it's all good. Peter is cool about this kind of stuff, and I made him promise not to tell anyone.”  
“Peter is cool about this kind of stuff?” Mike questioned.  
“Yeah, he is a hippie after all,” replied Micky, “He made a good point too, 'Gay? Straight? Love is love.'”  
Mike ran his fingers through his hair and stared at the ground.  
Micky looked at Mike, curious to what he may be thinking, “Or do I need to dress up like Mrs. Arcadian?” he joked.  
Mike smiled and looked at Micky, “No, you're beautiful the way you are.” He blushed, realizing what he said.  
Micky was awestruck, “I'm beautiful?” he questioned.

Mike reached up and ran the back of his fingers along Micky's jawline again, pausing his fingers at his chin, gently tilting it slightly upward as he leaned in to plant a kiss on Micky's lips. He felt electricity surge through him, starting at their touching lips.  
“Definitely,” he said as he pulled away from their first sweet kiss.

Micky was speechless.

Mike was smiling. He felt a joy he hadn't felt in a long time. He took Micky's hand in his, interlacing their fingers.

Micky reached up with his other hand to touch his lips, surprised that Mike had kissed him.

Mike enjoyed the innocent, awed look on Micky's face. “That was how I wanted our first kiss to be. Not because of some silly game.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end. I have ideas for more to come but I've been having writer's block on how to frame it all. Also working on a Torklenz.


End file.
